real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
