I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They took my balls.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
