Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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