I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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