My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
