i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i've created a new STD.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
