Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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