if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
