By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
