He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
