Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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