I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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