I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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