you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
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he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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