We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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