There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize