Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
