I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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