Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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