Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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