That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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