I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize