lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had sex on a roof
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
