The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
