i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
