apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
