I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
