ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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