Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
