I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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