Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
