My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
