it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
