thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize