Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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