Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
