beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
