Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
