Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
