Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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