i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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