Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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