If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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