He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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