WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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