you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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