Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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