i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
