Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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