How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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