is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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