Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
