Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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