Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
