did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
