what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
