break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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