**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize