I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
