operation harelip BJ is a go
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My liver just had a heart attack.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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