Don't you send me to vm
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
