if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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