I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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